BROWARD COUNTY, Fla. – On this week’s Mom to Mom, Local 10′s Nicole Perez talks with South Florida experts about getting ready to welcome her second child.
Nicole announced in July 2024 that she and her husband, Local 10′s Roy Ramos, were expecting their daughter’s arrival and the family has been busy preparing.
For so many families there is so much love, joy and excitement that goes into expanding the family, but once the excitement settles, there’s also worry, stress and lots on “mom” guilt.
“It’s definitely a challenge it can be an exciting time, but it also an overwhelming time,” said Dr. Lazara Novas, Psychologist, Joe DiMaggio Children’s Hospital.
Nicole went to the professionals to talk about baby number two, not just for the parents but for her first born too.
“It’s a change right, every change comes with a lot of uncertainty. They don’t know what to expect. They might feel nervous anticipation, fears. If they’re younger we see developmental regressions, they might be clingier to mom or sometimes we see some potty-training delays or bed wetting,” said Novas.
Dr. Novas gave Nicole some tips on how to best prepare for baby number two:
- Be honest and get them prepared early on. Start talking to them about what to expect in the second trimester.
- Play therapy is a great way of helping the child cope.
- Have a gift ready from the baby to the older sibling.
Dr. Novas said often times parents see the biggest behavioral changes in their firstborn once the new baby is home.
“Routines, routines, routines. Develop a routine in which you spend even five minutes a day with the sibling, so they feel special and then develop a routine in which sibling and baby do something together,” said Novas.
Dr. Novas also said mom guilt is normal.
“It’s okay to feel it. Its more about accepting it instead of denying or putting it to the backside or letting society make us feel bad for feeling these things. It’s ok to feel mom guilt or overwhelmed. Motherhood is a beautiful thing but also a very challenging thing. First acknowledge that it is ok to feel all those things and now that we acknowledge it, let’s work on it and find ways to help you be ok with it and learn how to be a mom of two,” said Novas.
Crystal Menino is a mother of two and a labor and delivery nurse. She shared with Nicole what life has been like after welcoming her second child.
“They are the most beautiful interaction I could ever imagine. She definitely was a completion to our family,” said Menino.
Menino’s children are three-year-old Reydan and seven-month-old Reya. Menino said being at work every day around new moms helped her feed off of their experiences and come up with a plan to introduce Reydan to Reya.
“Keep the baby in the crib. Let the child approach the baby when they’re ready, on their own. Don’t have the baby held so you can embrace older sibling as soon as they come in and allow them to go to the new sibling,” said Menino.
Once the new family of four was home, Menino did notice some regression in her son.
“Probably the biggest struggle we’ve had in our household is him bedwetting. He was completely potty trained. We were strategic on trying to get it done before new baby came home and it’s been a repetitive challenge. I never blame the baby I really try to make an effort not to say we can’t because Reya can’t,” said Menino.
Dr. Novas and Menino said to be kind to yourself and take it one day at a time. It is going to be a transition and in everything in life there will be ruptures, but it’s about the repair, it’s how we smooth out the transition.
Another reminder is to tell family and friends to make the firstborn a priority and not always go straight to the newborn.
If you would like to highlight a mom who makes a difference in our community, send us an email at MomToMom@wplg.com.
For more Mom to Mom stories, click on this link.