As the Israel-Hamas war rages on in the Middle East, the graphic images and videos being shared can be tough to process, especially for children.
The horrors Hamas has inflicted on Israel have been documented in violent images and videos circulating throughout all social media platforms.
“Not only is it dangerous for our psyche, our soul, to look at that for our mental health, but it is also what they want,” said Andrew Jacobs, a senior rabbi at Ramat Shalom Beth Israel in Plantation. “They want to spread terror,”
Jacobs says the graphic war videos on display could leave children with emotional scars and advises parents on the nuances of having age-appropriate discussions of what is unfolding while cautioning against viewing the violent videos.
“I really, really believe it is a parent’s responsibility right now to have these difficult discussions, but that also requires moms, dads, grandmas, grandpas, and others,” he said. “To really do their homework and to learn about what is happening so they can explain it to their children,” he said.
It’s a concept echoed by Dr. Daniel Bober, Chief of Psychiatry at Memorial Regional Hospital, who explains how parents and guardians can navigate the Israel-Hamas war with their children through age-appropriate conversations.
“It has come up with some of the kids, they are having trouble sleeping, their appetitive has been affected, and these are kids of some of the Jewish parents that I treat,” Bober said.
Jacobs explained to Local 10 News on how Hamas is releasing the videos and using them as a recruitment tool.
“They want to spread their terror, their fear, and they twist things around,” he said. “They use it as propaganda, to manipulate, and they use it to spread their lies so every click, every view that they get helps promote it and spread it to others, and that is exactly what we don’t want to do. We don’t want to promote that and spread it around the world.”
Bober also gave additional advice to parents on how to approach older kids about the war, which you can read below.
TIP 1: CHECK-IN ON YOUR KIDS
“I think it is important to check in with them and say, with open-ended questions like, ‘Where have you heard about it? What have you seen?’
TIP 2: FOR YOUNGER KIDS
“With younger kids, it is better to keep it more simple. Don’t go into too much graphic detail, I would also say spread compassion not stigma. We don’t want to stigmatize an entire ethnicity or group of people. We need to be very cautious about that because sometimes that can be the start of how discrimination begins. So, it is important to try to keep the conversations as neutral as possible and to acknowledge the fact that even adults don’t have all the answers all the time that even we have been traumatized by some of these images that we have seen.”
TIP 3: FOR OLDER KIDS
“I think with older kids you can be more nuanced about it. Maybe you want to engage in a political discussion with them and kind of go back and forth with them, but reassure them of safety, keep an open line of communication. Let them know they can come to you no matter what.”
TIP 4: FIND A POSITIVE ‘TAKE ACTION’ OPPORTUNITY
“I think it is important to empower your kid, give them something positive to focus on, for younger kids they might try writing a poem, or drawing a picture, and with older kids you can maybe focus on giving money to a humanitarian relief organization so that gives them a sense of empowerment and agency and that they can make a positive change in the world,” he said. “There is a lot of negative here, but you can focus on related positive energy, ‘look at all the first responders, the citizens of Israel, who went to try and help each other’, and focus on the positive energy you can put out in the world.”
BOBER ON DELETING SOCIAL MEDIA APPS FROM YOUR CHILD’S DEVICES:
“I have been talking to some of my patients about this and I don’t think it is practical, there is just too much coverage, everyone has a smartphone so it would be very hard to completely shield them from.”
SIGNS OF ANXIETY TO LOOK FOR:
“You need to know some kids are going to come to you they are going to be terrified, they are going to want answers to some of these questions, but some kids may suffer in silence and may have signs of anxiety and some of those signs may look like difficulty sleeping, difficulty eating, less appetite, somatizing, ‘I don’t want to go to school, I have a headache’, so it is important because for younger kids, they won’t always know how to verbalize their feelings, so sometimes they will act them out, so it is important to tap into that and be in touch with those kids if they don’t want to talk about it.”
Bober said he is already seeing the war playing a negative role for some of his younger patients.
“It has come up with some of the kids,” he said. They are having trouble sleeping, their appetitive has been affected, and these are kids of some of the Jewish parents that I treat, because really, when you are part of the Jewish community, it is a tight, cohesive group of people. It is very hard to contain that emotion and it can be overwhelming.”
For more on “How to Talk to Kids about Israel Right Now” parents are encouraged to visit Resources for Parents from PJ Library’s Israel Hub by clicking here.